Choosing to Thrive

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Good morning, church. How are you all today? Good, good. See your smiling faces. I wasn't sure if I could see faces up here or how this would go, so I think I'm going to like the participation of smiles and things like that.

Well, I am thrilled and terrified at the same time to be here with you today. As you know, I'm not one who usually gets up here and preaches, but all of our men, if you don't know, are at their men's retreat. Well, at least all of the men that make this function. So they are there at camp sooner. They're working, fellowshipping, and I am excited that they're there using their gifts and talents not only for our Covenant youth and their upcoming camp, but also for the youth around the city.

Isn't it exciting when we get to use our gifts for the glory of God and for the next generation? Praise God. All right, so when Chris first planned this men's retreat was in January of 2024. He sits down, he does the calendar, he plans out the year. And he was like, we need a men's retreat.

I'm planning it for 2025. Like, great. That's awesome. He's like, and you're speaking. No, thank you.

I don't want to do that. So as this year has progressed, I have fought this opportunity, both physically, spiritually, in my marriage. I have really just fought the Lord in what he has called me to do today because Chris had asked me. He knows that the Lord wanted me up here. And I eventually, 13 months later, said, okay, Lord, what do you want me to do?

What do you want me to say? You're gonna have to equip me because this is not my talent. This is not my forte. This is not what I'm called to do. He said, yes, you are, and I want you to give your testimony.

I was like, okay, I can do that. Like, I know about my life. I can talk about me. And I sit down and I have notes that I will probably read from, just so we're all aware. But I sat down and I spent three or four days thinking about my life, thinking about what the Lord has done, where I've been, what has happened.

And in that time and in those three days, I could see a difference in the Lord. I could see his call, his guidance, his love even when I didn't know it. So looking back, I can see it. So with that being said, I'm going to stand up here today with Revelations 12:11 in my mind that we have overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. Amen.

So I, as I was looking through this and thinking about this, I want you guys to feel encouraged that you have a testimony as well. And I would love for you to dig into your lives as I talk today and speak with the Lord and see how what he has done in your life. Will you pray with me?

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Thank you for the opportunity to be on this stage to share our story, to share the story of love and faithfulness that you've had for me. Father, I just ask that as I stand up here that my words profess that you are God, profess that you are faithful and profess that you alone are all we need. Thank you for this opportunity. I love you and you are worthy of it all.

In Yeshua's name, amen.

I hope that today you are encouraged. I hope that today you find value in your relationship with the Lord and what he has done for you over the past several years. Many of you at ladies events have heard some of my testimony, have heard the highlights of my testimony. Like I lived on a dude ranch. That's always one of those two truths and a lie.

No one believes I lived on a dude ranch, but yes, I did. Also, you've heard my story of us not being able to have children or doctors telling us that we couldn't and what that was like. But what you may not know is that I did not grow up in church. And I am nervous to say that because I help lead a church. I'm a pastor's wife.

I have women's pastor as a title. I have many of you who come to me for guidance. So there's times where I don't feel equipped. But we serve a God who equips no matter our background. Thank you, Lord.

I did, however, attend VBS from the age of seven to nine. It was a great time. And on April 2nd of 1989, I gave my life to Christ. It was a powerful moment that I remember vividly. I remember being in the Nazarene church.

I remember the maroon carpet. I remember walking up to the baptismal and I remember walking down into the water. I also remember holding my nose because I'm slightly terrified of water and I didn't want to drown I also remember fun fact, when you're like thinking of your memories. I remember my crimped hair, my stonewashed jeans, puffy paint, like it was the 80s and I was living it well. So anyway, I remember as I stepped out into the water with that pastor and he prayed over me and I went under the water and I came back up and there was big cheers.

I was so excited. It was such a wonderful, wonderful moment.

Looking back though, my memories began to fade. Because at that time, little did I know that two months later God would use that experience that I had to help me handle and to prepare my heart for a deep trauma that I would experience. That new faithful relationship that I had with my Savior gave me the strength to forgive the unimaginable and to unburden my little nine year old heart of what had happened. Sadly though, my relationship with God after that moment went silent wasn't because of him. It was because of me.

During that vbs I had learned about God and my need for a Savior. But I didn't know how to walk with Him. I wasn't equipped in that way. I didn't regularly attend church. Reading my Bible felt cumbersome without the support.

And my prayers are mostly selfish. Asking God for things that I wanted, like a certain boy to like me or to, I don't know, get some new clothes or whatever it was. It was all selfish because I didn't know how to have a relationship with Him. I didn't have biblical accountability, instruction or fellowship to guide me. My relationship with Jesus just faded.

It wasn't until a couple years after I was married, so about 18 years after my baptism that I started to restore my relationship with God. During those 18 years I wandered. I searched for my identity in all the wrong places.

I was holding myself together by my own strengths. And from the outside you would thought I had it together. But on the inside I was broken. I was lost. As I think about those years, I can clearly see God and what he had done and the moments and the protections of that time.

But at the time I didn't know how to recognize them. I didn't know what he was doing. I didn't know he was protecting me. I didn't understand that God was calling me back to him. But he was patiently waiting.

My return to God, to my heavenly Father wasn't a glorious one. I didn't go running back into his arms. I sought him out. Because my new marriage was falling apart. I was desperate for connection to someone, to something I needed, something to hold onto, to lean on as my world seemed to be unraveling.

I was angry, bitter, hurt. But God knew all of that. And in his perfect timing, he orchestrated something so remarkable that to this day, Chris and I are certain it was by his hand alone that we are still married. Have you met Chris? Just saying.

Love you, babe. It was a cold Saturday in January of 2007. God made a way for me to attend this little church about 15 minutes down the road from us. This was a big deal for me. I had never attended church on my own in my life.

I remember going to like a Mother's Day service with my mother in law. I remember a couple of other. Maybe Christmas, maybe Easter. I'm not sure I remember going to church. But I had people around me I could hide.

No one was calling me out. But here I am, vulnerable, broken. I walked into this little church. Chris stayed home that day. We had just gotten the biggest fight of our life.

And what I didn't know is that he was angry with God. He was angry with God from before I met him. He had written him off. He didn't want anything to do with him. And because our marriage wasn't centered on God, I didn't know, I had no idea that he was going through those things with him.

So as I walked into that little church, I was greeted by the most wonderful, beautiful humans. They hugged me, they welcomed me, they told me they love me. Like who are these people? And what I remember, I remember, I don't remember what the sermon was that day, but what I do remember is the genuine love. I knew I had found a place that I belonged.

I knew I had found a place with the Lord in this little church. So after church, now that church at the time was about a four hour service. So it was a little, it was wonderful. I loved it. I ate it up.

But they had asked me to stay for dinner. So I contemplated. But in my heart I was so excited to go home and tell Chris what I had experienced. I forgot about our fight. I forgot about all the things.

I just wanted to go home and tell him. So when I got home, that's when God really showed off. Chris, with an open heart, received God's words. For him through my experience, it was so. He was so excited.

God, whatever had happened and he has shared his story and hopefully he'll share his story again. But he had written the Lord off because of, because of church, hurt, because of people who. All of the things. But when I told him of my experience, he came with me the next Saturday. It was so Excited.

I was so excited now. It took us a few months to restore our marriage. It wasn't like. It was like, oh, here we go. Found church.

Everything's great. We had to put in a lot of hard work, but we had community. We had people around us, supporting us, praying with us. We had a pastor who would talk with us and help us work through things, mediate things. We had a community that loved us and wanted to see us thrive.

So for almost seven years, God used that little church in Nashville, Tennessee, to minister to us. Their fervent prayers and faithful support played a crucial role in restoring my relationship with the Lord and with my husband. Those people confidently and joyously comforted us when the doctors told us we couldn't have children. They also made the biggest celebration when I got pregnant with Hannah. So they knew.

They knew that we serve a big God. They told me that we serve a big God. I didn't understand until I got pregnant. So the women there pointed me to Jesus and my relationship with him began to strengthen. I felt so blessed.

On that mountaintop season, I found my purpose, my calling. And with biblical instruction, accountability, fellowship, I knew I was on the path that God had for me.

Then our family tumbled into the lowest valley. It was during that season that I was painfully reminded of the fallen world we live in. As believers in Christ, we are not guaranteed or promised an easy life. Things will happen, but we serve a big God. But as I was reminded that all people are sinners.

And even though those who claim to love you and seek after God can wound you deeply with scars that take time, years to heal. The next season was long and difficult and truly felt like a wilderness for our family. Chris and I almost lost ourselves again in our relationship with the Lord. It was on the brink. There were beautiful moments, though.

In the midst of this valley, we were able to travel the country. He led worship all throughout the country. We went to different fellowships, met people that we have lasting relationships with. We also moved to Oklahoma. I protested that at first.

That's a whole nother story. But we're here and we love it. We had a few more children. That was exciting. We have five now.

I think you all know that. But for those online, those nine years were filled with highs and lows. But it wasn't until we all laid it down, until Chris and I laid it down at the altar of Jesus and surrendered everything to him. That's when the clouds parted and we could see that mountain again. We realigned our focus on Jesus and we asked him to lead the way that moment of surrender was just in November of 2022.

For the past two and a half years our eyes have been fixed on our Savior seeking His will for us, our family and this church that he has entrusted us for this season.

And today, with nervous excitement like the day of my baptism, I stand here on this stage in front of the people that I love with all of my heart, able to tell my story of God's redemption and never failing love in my life. I never want to take this for granted. This is more. This is more than just a church to me. To Chris, my children.

We are here to be a part of his church as he established in Acts 2. We are here to to be on a journey with you to become more like Yeshua. God is shaping each of our lives to reflect his glory and the glory of His Son. He has brought us here and is intricately weaving our stories together, our experiences. He wants to bring glory to his kingdom.

Being a part of his church is about something far greater than ourselves. God designed this church for us. He designed the Church for us. The Bible makes it clear why we need church for instruction, accountability, fellowship and to complete His Great Commission. Instruction.

We live in an age where we can get sermons online anytime we want. We can hear the Word of God at a push of a finger. We don't have to leave our homes anymore to hear the Word of God. Yet God is calling us to his church. Will you turn with me to Ephesians 4:11 through 14?

And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the Body of Christ. Until we all attain to the unity of faith and the knowledge of the Son of God. To mature manhood to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ so that we may no longer be children tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness and deceitful schemes. God has provided us with pastors and teachers to equip us for his mission, building us up in unity and strengthening our faith. It's not enough to simply watch a sermon online.

We need to experience the fruit of the Spirit through deep connection. Genuine connection. Doing life together, seeing our leaders live out their face. This equips us for God's kingdom and for the work we are doing. Being a part of his church enables us to hear His Word and actively engage in his work.

Accountability.

Hebrews 13:7 reminds us that our leaders are entrusted with the responsibility of watching over our souls and will one day give account to God for how they shepherd us. This is a weighty responsibility that Chris and I do not take lightly. We recognize that we are accountable, that we are accountable to God, and that accountability is essential for all of us and our spiritual growth.

We need each other to stay rooted in our faith, to encourage one another, and to ensure that we are faithfully following God's guidance. We are called to support and care for each other as we all journey together toward Him. Fellowship Fellowship is essential for our walk. We are reminded in Hebrews 10, 24, 25 and let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, not neglecting to gather together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other. And all the more as you see the day approaching.

Gathering together is not just a social activity. It's a sacred time where we get to encourage one another in the face and spur each other to good works. The fellowship we experience with fellow believers is unique because it centers on Jesus and the advancement of his kingdom. As you have noticed, HFF has started to implement things besides a Saturday service. We have building blocks, house church, young adults, youth events.

We want to have a shared focus on him that transforms our time together into something deeper, something deeper than we can find in any other gathering. The Great Commission finally, being a part of the body of believers enables us to come together using our unique gifts and talents to advance his great commission. Romans 12, 4, 5. For as in one body, we have many members, and the members do not all have the same functions. So we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually members of one another.

Each of us, everyone in this room, our men at camp, sooner we all play a vital role, and when we unite our efforts, we become a powerful force for spreading the gospel. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

We want to build God's kingdom, and it's through this unity and collaboration together that we're able to fulfill the mission of God and we're able to go and make disciples. Amen again. All right, let's do it. So as I stand before you today, I am filled with gratitude and awe for how far God has brought us individually and as a church. I never imagined that I would love and care for people as much as I do.

And I know it's only through his grace, patience, and example that I am here.

The journey hasn't been easy, and I am living testimony of the power of God's faithfulness and love. He never left me. His Hand has been on my life through every season, guiding me, restoring me, and leading me back to his heart. He's doing the same for you. Worship Team as we move forward together, let us remember that we are not just individuals walking separate paths.

We are a body united in Christ. And each of us has been uniquely created and equipped with gifts and talents to serve him and one another. We are called to walk this journey together, lifting each other up, supporting one another, and working for the Kingdom of God in a world that pulls us in countless directions. Let us hold fast to the truth of God's word, to the calling he has placed our lives into, the fellowship we have with one another. We are not alone on this journey.

God is with us. He has given us each other.

Let us continue to encourage, strengthen and equip one another for the mission he has given us.

Thank you. As we continue on our 28 day journey to Passover, please take this opportunity to reflect, to pray and to make a conscious decision to invest in our spiritual growth and to invest in those around us. God is calling you to be a part of something bigger than yourself, something eternal. And together we can accomplish all that he has set before us. May we continue to be a church that always strives to reflect his glory in all that we do, knowing that when we walk in faith and unity, we are advancing the Kingdom, His Kingdom here on earth.

Thank you for walking this path with me. May God bless each of you deeply and richly as we continue this incredible journey together, encouraging, lifting and supporting one another as we reflect his glory in all that we do. Thank you.

Amen. Let's stand in worship.

I'm caught up in your presence I just wanna sit here at your feet I'm caught up in this holy moment and I never wanna leave oh I'm not here for Bless Jesus, you don't owe me anything and more than anything that you can do I just want you sing and I'm sorry but when I've just gone through the motions I'm sorry when I just sang another song Take me back to where we started I open up my heart to you God I'm sorry when I've come with my agenda I'm sorry when I forgot that you're enough Take me back to where we started I owe open up my heart to you I'm caught up in you I'm caught up in your presence I just want to stay here at your feet I'm caught up in this holy moment and I never wanna leave no, I'm not here for blessings oh, Jesus, you don't owe me anything and more than anything that you can do I just want you I just want you I just want you Nothing else Nothing else nothing else will do I just want you and nothing else Nothing else nothing else will do I just want you and nothing else Nothing else nothing else will do Sing to him. I just want you and nothing else oh, nothing else nothing else will do I just want you and nothing else no, nothing else Jesus Nothing else you do and I just want you and nothing else and nothing else no, nothing else will do you caught up in your presence I just want to sit here at your feet I'm caught up in this holy sing I'm not here for blessings no, I'm not here for blessings Jesus, you don't owe me anything More than anything that you, you can do I just want you hey there, church. So glad that you guys are here today. It's been a great day to worship with you and to hear Pastor April, what a great message that was. I know I definitely needed that.

I hope that each and every one of us can go home and think about our testimony, our story, reflect on it with the words of Jesus flowing through our thoughts, flowing through every being and every part of us. And I just pray that we're all able to focus on that and to just be able to reflect on. On every part of our story with his eye and of us, not our eyes, of us. And so I want to say a little prayer before I say the benediction. Lord, thank you so much for this day that we've been able to gather together.

We pray for the men of the men that are out on the men's retreat. Help keep them safe with all the power tools and regular tools and everything that they're doing out there. Lord, we just thank you for the ability and the heart. The men that are doing that work, whether on the campground or in their hearts and in their minds, Lord, be with them in every moment. Help us all to see ourselves, Lord, through your eyes.

Be with us every step that we take, every breath that we breathe. Lord, help us to be you to the world, to each other, to ourselves. Lord, help us to go out into this world to show you, to love you and to be you. Pray all this in your son's name. Amen.

All right, Based on Hebrews chapter 13:2021. Now may the God of peace who brought us peace by raising from the dead our Lord, Lord Jesus Christ, so that he would be the great shepherd of his flock, and by the power of the blood of the eternal covenant. May he work good into every part of you, giving you all that you need to fulfill your destiny. And may it be expressed through you that he is deserving of glory forever. Amen.